Do you ever care to make me realize that you were worth loving
Of making me realize that when my soul tore up, you care for the tore pieces that it tore you too, that you were in the pieces too;
Did you realize?
That my mind and my heart and my mind and my heart and my body and my soul and my body and my soul was looking for you that you thwarted it, you left it lying in bruises open to flies in the market,
Did you realize the lingerings on the pain that only my mirror saw in my eyes, that you were supposed to see that it was only to be seen by you.
Did you bother to care to hold my hand and bandaid my bruises with the firstaid that you carry in your heart?
You knew it, you always knew it that it is a home that I have always craved for, it is my well being and my frozen gloss that I keep secure for lips and a soothing wall that I mistaken to care for my heart!
Wintry evenings and foggy sunsets,
I sat down by fire to heat up my soul;
Driven by the quest for self,
It burns questions on I, me, myself and mine.
I had reverence for my own being,
Claim to lay hidden behind smiles
A fog of thought that I try to disappear,
It lay unhidden even in the foggy sunsets,
Would this heating up of my soul,
Bare me from the bruises of time?
Or I would keep mumbling to these wintry evenings,
To pardon me that I fell in Love!
A new rape case. A new news headline. The same story. The same pain. The same debate!
Would it ever end?
Would it ever change?
This recent rape case of a 7 year old girl by a constable in Uttar Pradesh is alarming no bells. It is making headlines, hitting facebook walls but till when? It happens every day and night and what we are left is with lingering anguish that gets pacified with the news.
Every time I come across a rape case incident, I remember the words of a female college mate of mine who once came out of semester exam hall and remarked “Why the hell these guys always ask atleast one question on Women and problems? I do not see any problem with women around me, their status in society is good then why are we made to write that they suffer from this and that.”
It actually took me by surprise and sadness at the sametime and I took a good amount of time to actually digest that statement. I wonder if we’re actually understanding and ACCEPTING the reality or are we just habitual of it now. It is not even internalising violence, infact much deeper than that.
Lately, I met a male friend who questioned me if women REALLY face those things that we are hearing these days. He was referring to molestation and abuse. Infact he denied accepting if molestation even happens in Metro because it was impossible with so many people around.
No! It is possible and It happens. I face it, we face it and we all face it, now matter what is our age and what clothes are we wearing. It will happen and we are left wondering with one question; Why?
There have been male friends who allegedly escaped saying that it happens with MEN too and of course, some denied accepting that too. But YES! That happens but that doesn’t have to come to be away from what is happening to women.
Eve Teasing, Molestation, Abuse and Rape happens! Kindly don’t shut eyes to it because if we don’t accept it, it won’t stop. At the peak of these rape case making daily headlines, the need of the hour is to come out of the escapist mode and gender wars instead accept, empathize and fight against it.
Oh Milton! I give up on the melancholic colours I once saw around me,
I rest my eyes, once laden with brutal cacophony of sadness around me.
Nothing to deceive me, through the portrayal of wrong into right,
But I scare if someone come to slit my throat!
Oh Milton! Even I’m lost in a Paradise;
As I lost my sight.
Pardon me, If I cannot see Satan crawling around me;
I still hold faith of flashing optimistic rays around me.
Oh Milton! Did I know that you’ll inspire me?
Holding my imagination in my fist
I’ll take over the pen and loose the grip.
I may only see the blackness falling touching my eyes;
Like a touch of soothen silk endeavoring pleasing me!
I keep you alive in my learnings,
I let myself loose in my writings,
As I loose a bit of hope:
Rumi sinks into my heart and
Starts singing the poetry of self love,
And I see myself again Living!
I see his presence, reflecting his happiness in my absence,
I’m cornered to a non-existing tear that falls with every time he smiles,
I’m his shadow of love, disowned in the reign of egoistic voice.
I dwindle and dwell in the shower of memories,
That hooks me up with my madness and his glories.
Do not have to remember doesn’t make me forget him, I swallow up pain everytime I miss him.
There is stillness in life.
Have you ever felt it in you?
Serene and still. That keeps you warm outside and cold inside.
I feel it. I feel the jargons of love hovering over my imagination,
It kills me to bear those words and accept.
It kills me to see those hugs that were ever mine and accept.
I am still and serene adapting to your infidelity.
And stamping my insecurity!
I have to let it be, moving/not moving to the flowers in my life,
Not letting it ruin me but accept.
Days would change, Years would change,
What will stay here? Your Infidelity!
I still see you in every look I come across
You tangibly intangibly keeps me hooked
I wonder if this would be my last time and it scares me to be my life times.
I still see you in every music I listen to,
You felt unfelt sing it in my ears.
I wonder if this would happen evey time
I loose my each bit of happiness that I lost in love.
The love, my one-sided love.
I create you in every tear of my eye and each smile of my lips
And I wonder, “Why didn’t you even bother to care?”
“He doesn’t”, my love reprimands me.
I openly subjugated myself to the attire of love that he wore,
And he left me naked!
Alluring me to wrap up in his arms,
I was left begging.